amberdover

The High King Lives

Happy Valentine’s Day! February 14, 2014

In this post: Happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy these videos of two of the stories I read to Michael today: The Princess & the Kiss and Brave Young Knight.

The Princess and the Kiss

Brave Young Knight (just a synopsis)

Hello dear ones! I am so thankful that with God’s help that Chris and I remained virgins until we got married. It was such a beautiful gift and how God intended it. But I admit that I wish I had saved my first kiss for our wedding day. I have friends who have done so and it seemed to stir the passion more. I wish I had not given my first kiss to a boy that wouldn’t matter in the long run. I wish I had not created soul ties by giving my emotions to boyfriends I had before Chris.

I had planned on saving my first kiss with Chris until our wedding but the sneaky scoundrel 😉 (just kidding hun) convinced me to kiss him before he left for basic training. Kissing is fun but it opens up major temptation before your married…especially prolonged kissing. Thankfully my hubby was gone most of our engagement so some of the temptation was removed. But if I could go back I’d save all my kisses for my wedding day.

Purity is a big part of my testimony and how God changed my views on dating when I was a teen. I did not grow up with a healthy model of marriage or courtship. But the Bible and other Christian books helped. I hope to pass the same teachings of purity to my son. I love the great kids books out there that make purity such a special thing. I love how “The Princess and the Kiss” makes a kiss  special  because it really is.

You don’t have to have sex with someone to create a soul tie. You can give bits of your heart through emotional connections and touches. This is coming from a chick who’s going on ten years of marriage. I still regret the boyfriends I had before Chris. I have other wives I’m friends with that feel the same about their past relationships. I’ve heard it’s even harder if you give away your virginity.

I’ve observed many relationships during youth…dating, courtship, those  having premarital sex, those abstaining, those that saved their first kiss, and those that didn’t (like me). I’ve got to say that the most passionate and purest was those that saved their kiss….second to that were those who remained abstinent until marriage.  Lastly, those who had premarital sex had it the worst, even those couples that eventually got married and were each others first partner. Even those who were Christians and life got better. They still had a shaky start and trust issues that reached into their marriages and took awhile to heal. There is forgiveness no matter what. But if you have a fresh slate why not keep it that way? Why not go for the best if you can have it?

I love my life and my marriage. It’s beautiful. I’ve got almost ten years of kissing my hubby on my resume lol. It would not have killed me to save a couple months of kissing before marriage and have kept kisses for our wedding. I have the privilege of looking back at my prayer journals and even my husband’s during our engagement. To be honest I’m a little embarrassed…cause I know that we both caused each other to lust and to lapse in our relationship with God. I’m embarrassed that my husband had to repent on my account. I was so naive that I didn’t understand what certain things did to guys.

I could go on and on about boundaries and certain rules but I don’t want to scare you into legalism. I just want to encourage you, if you’re not married, don’t try to get your toe as close to the boundary line as you can. You can easily fall to the other side…no matter how spiritual you think you are. I’ve known the purest to lose it and fall into regret.  It’s not worth the shame. It’s not worth losing the one you love. And it’s not worth starting a marriage because you “have” to. It’s not worth the distrust. True love guards and protects.

You may think you’re going to marry someone and then find out they are not the one for you. I said this once in a purity message I gave at a youth group. There was a couple there that were about to go to college and you’d think they would’ve got married. Well, not long after they broke up and everyone was shocked. I believe they took the purity message to heart and I’m glad. How heart breaking would it have been for them to give themselves to someone they would never be with again?

Oh, and one piece of advice for the single ladies: if your boyfriend hates your father and tries to keep you away from your friends, if he’s always trying to get physical, and he laughs during the True Love Waits or any purity message….dump him! He most likely only wants sex and will dump you when he realizes you’re not giving it.  😉 Just had to throw that our there lol.

Oh, I’d much rather have learned from books than bad experiences! Certain things you don’t need to learn the hard way….just like I wouldn’t want to put my head under the wheel of a Semi-truck to learn that it’s a stupid idea!

Anywho, I’m about to step off my soapbox. I’m just so passionate about this because how it affected my life and others. I knew of a homeschool couple that were so great but their parents left them alone a lot. Well, they had premarital sex and the girl got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It broke their relationship with each other and with God. They both spiraled into crazy sexual sins and into dangerous life styles. They are adults and from the last I heard they are both still not living for God.

To think….homeschooled kids…kids who went to church. But their parents did not guard the kids’ purity by putting up boundaries. Courtship or just  not letting them be completely alone would’ve protected them. It breaks my heart til this day and I can’t help but be a little upset at the carelessness of the parents.

Teenagers are still children. Parents can’t help much what happens after graduation but while kids are under the roof we can do all we can to prepare and protect them. The best way is to be an example. Single parents…all the above purity advice goes for you as well. I urge you not to let your kids see you give your heart and body to the people you date. You don’t have to be a virgin to maintain a standard of purity as an adult. God’s forgiveness covers the past and he can help you in the future.

Sexual purity does not mean perfection. There are so many other areas in marriage and no one will ever be perfect. A good start helps though. It really does. Marriage is complicated enough with out a lot of baggage.

Lastly, I want to say to you dear one: God made you special and your body is a gift that should be taken care of and protected. Your heart is the same. You are worth the best. Just like the princess in the story.  You’re in my prayers and I know God is writing a beautiful love story for you..whether it’s for marriage of just for being God’s child that He loves.

I read the book  “Because You Love Me” by Max Lucado with Michael. I recommend it for adults too. If you ever wonder why God has certain rules then please check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/Because-Love-You-Max-Lucado-ebook/dp/B008KRXEGC/

And here is the story of Saint Valentine and half of the origin of this loverly holiday!

http://www.amazon.com/Saint-Valentine-Robert-Sabuda/dp/0689824297/

God bless & remember the High King lives! ~Amber Dover

 

My Family Rocks! Sunday: The Beauty of Sex within Marriage, Family Night, & a secret family recipe ;) March 25, 2012

Hello, dear ones. Well, I’ve finally caught up on post. I still feel weak as a kitten but hopefully I’ll get a protein shake soon & restore my iron etc. Today’s post is not for young children. This is my soap box so hang on tight. This blog is purely informational so please no debates in the comment area. I’m not here to argue. Take my words or leave them…up to you ;). But hang on because at the end of this post I’m revealing a secret family recipe.

I’m enjoying a new blog: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum by Sheila Gregoire

tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/03/marital-success-is-a-matter-of-attitude/

She wrote “The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex” which I haven’t read. But her blog shows a healthy view of Sex, the way God mean’t for it to be.

Most of you, like me, have been subconsciously taught by the media & society that sex is this naughty and nasty thing. Alot of women believe that sex is just for perverted men who only think with their sexual organ. We’ve heard that men need sex and women need romance and that sex is just a means to getting love. It’s sad how many people believe this. Many are on the streets selling their bodies to survive or because they were abused (kidnapped etc) and made to feel that sex was the only reason they were created….that they are worthless. Many give themselves because they want love….only to feel emptier afterwards.

(Pic removed in case of copyright issues)

I had a friend in Highschool who slept around. After she became a Christian I remember her telling me how hollow she felt….like she was just an object. It’s not just women though. I had a friend who was sexually abused by his father. It forever scarred him and distorted the way he sees men. He is now in the homosexual community and he has never learned how to embrace true masculinity. What he was taught as a child was sick and twisted. Children are bombarded with images of celebrities and models who have been airbrushed into make believe perfection. How can we compete? And those of us who are no longer virgins know the truth now. Sex is not like the movies. Romance is not like the movies.

(Pic removed in case of copyright issues)

Women cannot compete with porn stars. By the way, if you read testimonies of ex-porn stars they share how fake porn is. How nasty it is and how many die of disease. It’s all done with cameras people. Real people DON’T have sex like that. If they tried they probably would end up in the hospital.

(Pic removed in case of copyright issues)

(Pic of Taylor Swift without makeup. Go girl for being willing to be real!)

Men can not compete with fairy tale romance. I love fairy tales. I don’t believe it can ever be compared to porn because it doesn’t mess up the brain in a physical way like porn does (read the reblog I did about porn awhile ago: https://amberdover.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/552/ ). BUT real men are NOT like fairy tale princes. The ONLY perfect Prince that will come riding on a white horse is Jesus Christ and He is God. Other men are only human and their brains do not work like women’s brains. Truly women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles. Despite what the feminist may say, we ARE different. It is scientifically proven that our brains are wired in different ways.

(Pic at fall festival. Chris is William Wallace and I’m a random Vulcan or Romulan..Star Trek stuff)

So if all of this is fake then what’s real? Are we just in for a life of misery and failed expectations? Should we just put up with whatever we get? NO! Our marriages may not be perfect but they can be beautiful. If we just let God write our love stories & change our perspective we can actually enjoy this life. Marriage takes work. Anything worthwhile will require sacrifice.

God created sex to be beautiful and to be between a woman and man. Within the bonds of marriage sex transcends the physical…it becomes spiritual as well….forever meshing two souls into one. It can become healing. Maybe you’ve only ever been damaged by sex. Darlin’, that’s because you experienced the counterfeit of true sex. You got the cheap copy. I pray one day you will find a Godly spouse and learn how it’s supposed to be. Godly sex may even bring about a miracle: a beautiful child in the likeness of your soul mate. I have only experienced that once but man it took my breath away. That miracle is almost six years old now.

You see, sex was never mean’t to happen with multiple people or with images in a magazine. Sex was made for one woman and one man to enjoy their love. It was mean’t to unify a couple. The world has messed it up and now many people (esp religious people) believe sex is dirty and evil. Ummmm God made sexual organs for a reason. He gave women a certain spot that has no other purpose but to bring pleasure. Seriously, this spot does not help in procreation. It’s only purpose is for pleasure. There’s actually a whole book in the Bible that talks about sex: The Song of Solomon. Sex has become the elephant in the room in church. The world is giving out all the wrong information about sex but the church is too scared to address the issue. Thankfully more people are speaking out in the church. There are some great resources out there.

When I was a kid I encountered a form of sexual abuse. Few people know the details & most of my family would be surprised this ever happened to me. The experience screwed up my way of thinking about sexuality. I’m not about to give details on a blog. I’m saying this to say that I understand what the dark side can do to our perspectives. I still have issues that I have to give to God every day because of that experience.

When I turned 17 I decided that I was going to pray for my future husband and I began writing letters to him before I knew his name. I gave these letters to my husband on our wedding night. I pledged to keep myself pure and to wait for God to send me a Godly man. It was through that waiting that God sent me Chris and our story is beautiful, written by God’s hand. Chris and I were both virgins on our wedding night and it was amazing.  I will never regret waiting. I just wish I had saved my first kiss for Chris as well.

You may think I’m crazy but I am a big advocate for not casually dating. I am all about courtship & preparing for marriage. Teens, if you’re not  in it for marriage then don’t date. Enjoy your childhood. Save yourself for that forever someone. I dated alot before I made the commitment to be happily single (til God brought my husband). I regret dating because even though I remained pure, I still gave so much of my heart to people I will never see again. I wish I would’ve saved ALL of my heart for Chris alone. I wish I had enjoyed being single and being a kid! I mistakenly thought I needed a guy to complete me. I was seeking love in the wrong places. Yes, God blessed the broken road but learn from me….skip the broken road…go straight for the prize ;).

My parents divorced when I was little and my mom dated alot. I saw how those relationships broke her heart time and time again. Only God knows the best person for you because only God knows the future and a person’s heart. I challenge all you single folks to read “I kissed dating Goodbye”, “When God writes your Love story”, and “Say Hello to Courtship” (by the same guy who wrote I kissed dating goodbye).

You can dismiss me if you want but I’m telling you I’ve LIVED these lessons and I’ve watched others crash and burn. I’m 27 now but I remember those days very well. Kids thought I was weird “dating” God and all (meaning I was committed to focusing on God and not dating guys). But where are they now? How many hardships have they encountered because they chose the world’s way? (A ton) I didn’t fit in with the other kids. I didn’t go with the “flow” and Praise God cause the flow led to misery. Please don’t follow people off a cliff.

Anywho, those last couple of years in Highschool I decided that I needed to become a woman worth marrying if I expected to marry a Godly guy. I read tons of books on marriage and relationships. I reached out to younger girls and I was mentored by older women (some in their 40’s, one was in her 90’s). I volunteered in the community. I wanted to be my name sake, “Amber” (Jewel of Purity). Yes I was scarred from my past but God could transform me. I made mistakes and God forgave me. God picked me up & I kept going. When God brought Chris I prayed hard…..we even postponed our wedding to make sure it was God’s will.

I had never expected to marry a soldier. I thought I would go to Bible college or meet a missionary. God made it clear he wanted me to stay put & wait for my man. I prayed and prayed and fasted and prayed if Chris was truly the right one. I did not want to get involved unless I was sure. I even asked for signs. God made it clear through signs and the peace in my heart that Chris was the one. We prayed together. We set boundaries so we’d remain pure. Sometimes we broke boundaries & had to regroup, ask for forgiveness, and do our best to stay away from crossing the purity line. It was hard & thankfully Chris was gone alot for the army. God truly protected us.

Even if you’re not a Virgin, God can still give you something beautiful. He can heal your scars and transform you into a jewel of purity. You can wear white with your head held high. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve read of ex porn stars that gave their life to Christ and God filled their heart with innocence.

(Click on the pic to see it larger. Please don’t copy or steal my drawings. Thanks!)

I’ve dealt with abuse and I know how you just want to feel innocent again. The world wants to steal people’s innocence. There’s a reason I read kid’s book and watch kid’s tv shows…..the adult stuff is too full of lust. I WANT innocence. I want to see things from the eyes of a child. And I do. Sometimes I struggle but when I stay in God’s word He gives me new perspective. He restores my innocence over and over.  Sex can be beautiful. Educate yourself about how it’s really supposed to be.

Okay I’ve taken up alot of your time. I want to issue a challenge to all the families out there or even couples: plan a family night once a week and avoid tv, the cell, and video games. Go for a walk or play board games. There are SO many things you can do that don’t involve electronics. So far our family nights have been eating at the table (sometimes with candlelight), Chris reading devotions, praying together, and then playing board games/cards/dominoes.

My hubby isn’t a big game person so we’re going to start mixing things up…maybe go to the park. This coming Monday the plan is to break out the guitar and sing together as a family. I’m hoping it works out. We’re a very musical family. When my health improves I’d like to go geocaching. It just sounds neat ;). ANywho, please leave me some comments and let me know how your family nights go. I’m open for ideas too :).

Ok, lastly here is the big reveal! This is the recipe to my Dad’s famous blue-ribbon pancakes! I just added it to our church cook book but for the most part it’s been kept in our family. These are SO yummy! My Dad was an excellent cook. He learned from the best. My great grandpa was a famous chef up in New York. He owned his own restaurant and cooked for a President and for astronauts.  He taught my Dad everything he knew. I unfortunately didn’t learn as much. My Dad wanted me to learn all the measurements first and I rebelled. But I’m still a decent cook. Anywho, enjoy!

(Pic of my Daddy several months before he died)

Dad’s Blue Ribbon Pancakes
by Jim Way
1962-2009
Ingredients:
2 Cups SR flour
2 tbsp sugar
2 eggs lightly beaten
1 1/2 cup milk
4 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tbsp maple syrup
2 tbsp honey

Directions:
Preheat griddle to 350 degrees
In large bowl, combine all ingredients
stir until mixed well
Beat for 30 seconds with wire whip
Use 3/4 cup batter for each allowing plenty of space for them
flip pancakes when bubbles cover the top and brown
Note: for extra-light, tender, and fluffy pancakes turn before bubbles break and turn 1 time only.
Serve with your favorite toppings.
If thinning of batter is necessary, use water

Well, God bless and remember The High King Lives! ~Amber Dover

PS: Men you are mean’t to be heroes…warriors…princes. Women you are princesses….warrior princesses even….you are mean’t to be strong vessels of light. Don’t let the world tell you, you are anything less. Yes we are different. We were never mean’t to be exactly the same. But we all have purpose. We all have worth….just because we are. God loves his creation. He loves you…just as you are. Don’t become plastic….be yourself 🙂