In this Post: My raw confession, hope for us both, and links to help.
Ephesians 4:24-32 KJV
24″And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
25Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
27Neither give place to the devil.
28Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
I have a confession…a raw and bleeding confession. I have been mean and my words have been poison.
So I have laryngitis or something. I can’t do more than whisper and I deserve it. I’m not saying that God is punishing me with sickness. Now is he using something bad to teach me an important lesson….definitely.
I could spout a dozen excuses…sickness, my son’s disobedience, being home 24/7, and that I’m teething (yeah, my 2nd wisdom tooth is coming through. I can’t seem to shell out the money to get rid of it.) But the TRUTH is….I’ve just been taking my anger out on everyone and especially Michael.
Now, I am thankful that my son does not hide his emotions. He will very clearly and tearfully state “Mommy, you are being mean!”. All the reasons I picked on him fade away….all the anger over small things that annoyed me go away. I look at my son’s face and my heart breaks.
What have I done? What words have I said that I can NEVER take back?!
So I let Michael cry a bit in his room….give him a few minutes. Then I do what has to be done. I repent. I confess my sin to God and then I own up to my sin by talking to Michael. I admit that I was wrong and *gulp* tell Michael that yes, I was being mean. That Mommy was being bad and I should have never talked to him that way. That he’s a good boy and I shouldn’t take my anger out on him. I beg forgiveness and I’m so glad my son is merciful. We hug each other. I probably apologize ten times. I say that I’m going to do better and ask if we can start over again. Things do get better but we both have a painful memory, all because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut….
Thankfully these painful moments of the sinful tongue don’t happen that much but they happened twice this week 😦 . So today I can’t speak above a whisper. I’m having to face my short temper head on and think of better ways to get my point across rather than raising my voice.
It’s been sort of hilarious. I’ve given him notes, made hand gestures, and since I don’t have a bell, I’ve resorted to clapping and snapping to get his attention. I handed him a warning note to stop playing in the bathroom or we would cancel our field trip. He came and asked what “cancel” means. So I made an “X” with my fingers. “Huh?” he said. Then I made a cutting motion across my throat. “Kill?” he asked. I shook my head “no” then motioned for him to come close. I whispered that it mean’t we wouldn’t go on our trip. There has to be an easier way.
That’s the thing….sometimes the better thing is not easy. It’s easy to give in to anger and shout. It’s harder and nobler to find a better solution. It means I have to stop and think. There are days when I’m tired and I don’t WANT to think. But I’m not here to whine and whoever said life was easy?
People who act in anger are cowards and I’m not going to point because I know I am that coward many a time. So it’s time to be BRAVE….to be WISE.
Proverbs 15:1-2
“1A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”
James 1:26
“26If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.”
OUCH!
Words can be sweet honey but they can also be poison. God, may my words be sweet and healing today. Please take away the poison of bitterness and anger. Help me to tame my tongue now and always….especially when I can shout again.
Dear ones, I praise God that we have such a merciful savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. It is not by my righteousness that I am acceptable before Him. My righteousness and yours as well is dirty rags. It is only by Christ’ righteousness, the blood he shed on the cross in my place, that I am justified before God. God’s forgiveness does not give us the right to willfully sin but Father God knows we are made of the dust. He understands our struggles. We are to always try to walk Holy and that becomes possible only by abiding in Christ. Still Father God always blesses a truly repentant heart.
Maybe you are in the same situation as me? Your heart is hardened by bitterness or maybe you’re just irritable from stress. No matter the cause…your heart is full of poison and your mouth is explosive. The only hope for us both is first to surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and secondly to repent. Clear the clutter that may add fuel to the fire. Maybe it’s what you watch or maybe you just have too much on your plate? Maybe your priorities are out of order? What’s more important? the dishes or relationships? Cut the poison off at the source and then abide in Jesus because He is the source of life. Then life will flow out of your mouth.
I’m in this boat too. I’ve got to sit back and evaluate myself and what needs to go in my life. What is making things worse? Some things we just have to deal with….sickness…finance issues….traumatic memories. But that’s where abiding makes all the difference. It is always critical to abide in Christ. You HAVE to have His life. Have no doubt….we must ALWAYS abide. When we are bleeding emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically….then we must cling even tighter to Jesus for life Support. You are already in a time of weakness and the enemy is ready to pounce. In these times, choosing fluff over God is absolutely dangerous. It is spiritual suicide. I am speaking to myself. Sometimes we don’t realize we are doing this until we’ve almost bled out. We thought we were okay…..ignore God a couple of days….watch more t.v. , no problem…then boom…sin and it’s consequences slaps us upside the head.
Maybe you are like me? I hope not. You see, sometimes I forget that I’m in a battle and that Jesus is my life support. I kind of go in this zombie mode….complacency. I fall asleep in enemy territory and awake surprised when I’m tied up and being poked with pitchforks by little people. NEVER go to sleep during a battle! Don’t just take it from me, the dunderhead that’s learned from experience, read it in your Bible. We are at war!
Refining Fire
Ephesians 6:10-13
“10Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
Here are some great links to help us parents. (Come to my blog if they don’t show up in email. Thanks!):
This one really spoke to my heart.
http://theresurgence.com/2012/04/09/10-ways-for-moms-to-respect-their-sons
http://creativewithkids.com/10-dangerous-thoughts-for-parents-who-want-to-stay-calm/
http://www.raisinggodlychildren.org/2011/12/8-ways-parents-provoke.html
http://www.gracelaced.com/2009/11/24/10-things-to-remember-when-your-child-is-disobedient/
I love # 9 “It’s not good behavior you really desire…you want his heart.”
Isn’t that exactly what Father God wants as well? Once he Has our heart then goodness and Life will flow out of it.
http://www.raisinggodlychildren.org/2012/06/10-habits-to-develop-for-correcting.html
http://www.raisinggodlychildren.org/2012/09/10-practical-tips-for-dads-in.html
http://www.raisinggodlychildren.org/2013/01/39-lessons-20-tips-and-10-donts-for.html
I really like 4 & 5:
4. Our task list is not as important as our children’s thought life.
5. Preach the gospel of grace, not self-discipline.
I like these stop signs. I think they can work for parenting too 🙂 Pic on my Pinterest below:
http://rockandteach.blogspot.com/2012/08/monday-made-it-part-4.html
I pray God will help us all tame our tongue. God bless & remember the High King is slow to anger, rich in love, quick to forgive, and He LIVES! ~Amber Dover
FlyLeaf- Again (music video)
PS: please don’t use my artwork but you can share this link. Especially don’t use the picture of my big mouth lol! 😛 seriously!
amberdover 